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Breaking News: Large Hadron Collider Leak!

There was a problem and the universe was sucked through the black hole that the collider produced.

"We fired two beams of particles called protons around the 27km-long tunnel which houses the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). There was a problem and it caused a leak, which released a black hole." Project leader Lyn Evans told NTS.

"The universe, including the Earth was sucked through the black hole, and we are now inside what we believe to be, a parallel universe." Professor Evans said.

We asked the team at European Organization for Nuclear Research (C.E.R.N) why we didn't notice anything?

"Well, we created a black hole inside the Large hardon Hadron Collider, and it leaked out, this in turn created a ripple in the curvature of space and time. This ripple fluctuated time, therefore we missed a bit of time!" Effy Geoffy explained.

Hadron Collider Leak
Security Camera Image From The LHC

We asked Professor Evans "So, what will happen to humanity, the earth and the universe?"

"I don't know, it all depends on whether this is a recurring parallel universe or not!"

We contacted Professor Stephen Hawking the world famous physicists, who told us, "Well it looks like Higgs owes me $100, because in 1974 I proposed that black holes can emit radiation, despite their overwhelming gravitational pull. Though the idea was initially greeted with widespread skepticism, the concept of “Me radiation” has just been proved, black holes do release everything once they evaporate, so ha ha."

We asked Professor Hawking, "How do you know it evaporated?"

"We are here, are we not?" Hawking said before cutting us off.

Colliding Planets
The Experiment That Caused The Black Hole

We asked Professor Evans, "What went wrong, and can it be fixed?"

The Professor stared at us for a long, uncomfortable time and then said, "Well we fired two miniature planets at each other around the 27 km collider, at almost the speed of light, and when the collided, well, it was not good."

"Can it be fixed?" Professor Evans continued, "Your guess is as good as mine, if Hawking don't know then how the hell would I."

So now we wait, will this experiment bring about Armageddon, or will nothing change.

We vote Armageddon

 

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